Top of the Morning: iPhone 6 is Nigh, More Miley and Blurred Legal Lines

Lindsay Hood

By Lindsay Hood

on 09.09.14 in News

Greetings! Top of the Morning is your daily AM news round-up. We paid attention overnight while you were sleeping and gathered relevant tidbits to share over that first cup of coffee.

Today is collectively more important than the release of Kanye’s next album, a potential Apocalypse or Kate Middleton’s current pregnancy. Today heralds the coming of a new messiah. That’s right. Apple is set to make an announcement about the iPhone 6, and the long-awaited, mysterious iWatch, at 1 p.m. EST. The U2 rumors are still swirling and we continue to ask, “Wait. Is it possible to order the new iPhone without their new album already on there?” All will be revealed in due time.

If you missed it over the weekend, Mark Kozelek called the crowd at Hopscotch Festival a bunch of “fucking hillbillies” during his Sun Kil Moon set and caused quite the stir. Yesterday in an interview with Brightest Young Things, Tom Krell of How to Dress Well jumped to Kozelek’s defense. Krell told BYT, “It’s tough when your job is that unpredictable. I feel for Mark Kozelek. Honestly, that’s what I wanted to say last night in Louisville too — I’m just not established enough to do it. Luckily, he’s an old dude who can be like, ‘Fuck you!” But when he faced audience backlash, Krell was quick to retract and posted a series of tweets to sidestep his comments:

Kozelek reportedly responded, “Fuck you, dude. I’m not that old.”

An Australian outfit is claiming that Ariana Grande left a photo shoot early after placing a long list of demands; which included not shooting in natural light, only shooting from the left side of her face and sweeping the room for demons. The singer was allegedly unhappy with the way her outfit appeared in the photos, went to change and never returned. (The demons got her, didn’t they?)

In other pop star news, Taylor Swift compares fame to walking around with a cat on her head and One Direction will be releasing an album called Four, because it is their fourth album and they don’t even have to try anymore.

Ryan Adams releases his self-titled album today and spent all of yesterday promoting it. He created several bizarre, self-conscious promos that starred himself, Gary Shandling, Jeff Garlin, Don Was and Bob Mould reading their lines off cue cards.

There was another one that claimed listening to the album would turn you into a zombie, but we won’t force you to watch it.

Charli XCX also covered Sam Smith’s “Stay with Me,” and her eyebrows looked much better than FKA twigs‘.

There are reports that Lily Allen is being sued by her former tour manager EC1 Music for signing with the Creative Artists Agency in America before her previous contract with EC1 had ended. EC1 believes she did this to capitalize on the American market prior to her comeback tour. But whispers in the hallways of CAA claim, “Don’t call it a comeback.”

Meanwhile, there’s a bunch of suing and countersuing taking place between Marvin Gaye’s children and the singers of “Blurred Lines,” Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke. The Hollywood Reporter covered the summary judgment and noted that, “The Gayes also reject the notion that other songs constitute prior art…the cowbell on Lipps Inc.’s “Funkytown” plays continuous 16th notes rather than a Latin time keeping rhythm.” So basically, if Pharrell had added more cowbell there wouldn’t be a problem here.

It turns out that Miley Cyrus became a sculptor while she was out her BANGERZ tour. A collection of the sculptures will appear on the runway of Jeremy Scott’s show during New York Fashion Week, afterward they will be displayed at V’s office gallery in SoHo. The collection includes, “a “bedazzled” hamster toy, and a marijuana joint glued to a vibrator… teddy bears, cameras, party hats, masks, USB keys and a pineapple.” Cyrus was particularly excited about the pineapple piece stating, “If you drink a lot of pineapple juice you’re going to have yummy cum. So that’s why I put it on the dick with a bunch of babies, and it says, ‘Fuck.’ I try to think about everything so it has a story to me.” Cyrus declined to expand upon that story, but she would say, “This seems so fucking lame to say but I feel like my art became kind of a metaphor — an example of my life.”

We’re just so glad that the galleries are finally starting to recognize Cyrus for the serious artist that she really is; as opposed to a kid who sits in her room, gets super stoned, and glues a bunch of shit together.

Happy iPhone6 Day, everyone.