Top of the Morning: Chris Martin Throws Parties, Justin Bieber Throws Blows, Aphex Twin Laughs and More

Lindsay Hood

By Lindsay Hood

on 10.02.14 in News

Greetings! Top of the Morning is your daily AM news round-up. We paid attention overnight while you were sleeping and gathered relevant tidbits to share over that first cup of coffee.

Ariana Grande has inked her first corporate sponsorship deal with the extremely hydrating brand Wat-AAH! In a statement regarding the partnership, Grande said, “Living a healthy lifestyle is so important to me, and this is one of the reasons I chose to partner with Wat-AAH! My fans are my everything, and because of this, I could only endorse something I believe in. Also, I love drinking water and I want to inspire my fans to do the same.” While drinking water is definitely very exciting and all, we can’t help but wonder if Grande is ever so slightly embarrassed by the company’s ridiculous name. Then again, this is the woman who has been parading around with cat ears on her head for a month so maybe it’s no big thing.

In a new trailer for the upcoming Aaliyah biopic, audiences get a sneak peek at the made-for-TV movie’s soundtrack as the clip prominently features Iggy Azalea’s “Goddess.” Did anyone else choke and shudder when they saw the words “Iggy Azalea” next to Aaliyah’s name? Just us? (Blasphemy.)

If you’re Chris Martin, what do you do in your downtime aside from hang out with Jennifer Lawrence and pen a few melancholy singles? Since you’re “consciously uncoupling,” you host a birthday party for your ex-wife Gywneth Paltrow and try not to roll your eyes when she starts talking about gluten-free, flaxseed smoothies. No word on whether or not Lawrence made an appearance.

While Martin was throwing parties, Justin Bieber was over in Paris throwing blows. The wee sprite has been busy hanging out with Kardashians and Selena Gomez, but he took time out of his schedule to punch a paparazzo in the face on Tuesday night. One more continued circumstance in Bieber’s reign of terror, also known as the “I was a child star who got famous too fast and now I have absolutely no sense of reality” temper tantrum.

Richard D James is up to his old tricks, screwing around with the press and having a grand old time. In a recent interview with Q Magazine, Aphex Twin told the reporter that he believes 9/11 was an inside job and said:

When you follow stuff on the internet about Illuminati, New World Order, aliens, even if none of it’s true, it’s just a thousand times better than any science fiction film that’s ever been written… I do believe pretty much all of it. You can’t only believe things which can be proven. It’s boring. Loads of things are unproven, but it doesn’t stop you believing them.

Now we can debate whether or not James is being serious here (he’s not), but isn’t it alarmingly sad that compared to the rest of the artists in this round-up, he still sounds like the most normal one?

And with that, we’ll sign off. Happy Thursday.

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