Teachers Pet, Teachers Pet

Chuck Eddy

By Chuck Eddy

on 04.22.11 in Reviews

Teachers Pet

Teachers Pet

Teachers Pet, who put out their first and only single in Northern Ohio in early 1978 but their album not until 30 years later, sound like a sort of Midwestern band particular to their time: One that had heard of punk rock, but hadn't actually heard it much.

Heartland hicks rustle up some speedy, silly, snotty, suburban songs.

So they got short haircuts (photos make them look like four high school geeks trying to pass as greaser toughs), and worked their Mad magazine minds and half-learned Kiss and Nugent riffs into speedy, silly, snotty, suburban songs snarled in a not-quite-grown-up and therefore innocently tuneful high register: Including one about picking up a “fast food baby” at the local hamburger joint, and a completely different one called “Meet Me at the Hot Dog Stand in Half an Hour and Don't Tell Your Dad” that fellow heartland hicks the Gizmos or John Cougar might well be amused by. Plus ones about teen loneliness, teen suicide, fat-bottomed girls and getting messed up in a knife fight.

Their “Summertime Blues” is more Eddie Cochran than Blue Cheer, and in “I'm Henry VIII I Am” they marry the bitch next door instead of the widow. They also invent a dance called the “Cincinnati Stomp”: “I'll knock you down so I can sit up front.” Somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight.