Mastodon have announced a collaboration with Dark Matter Coffee, a twist on the Chicago company’s popular Unicorn Blood blend featuring espresso beans that were aged in bourbon Basil Hayden’s barrels. Available for pre-order through the Dark Matter site this Friday, the Black Blood line is limited to 2,000 bags worldwide and available in tandem with 500 wax-dipped iced coffee bombers that contain The Blood of Clovis. Or something. Here’s the back story, which is as high concept as one of Mastodon’s albums:
The year is 2420, techno-organic life forms rule the earth, the cyborg Mastodon seeks vengeance against the Clovis people for the genocide of his kind. The terrestrial leviathan fuels himself with Black Blood, as he prepares to enter the time portal known as the Dark Matter Machine.
Through the power vested in Black Blood, the Mastodon shall reclaim its throne of world domination. Dark Matter Coffee™ and Mastodon are ecstatic to present this colossal coffee, Black Blood. It is composed of our infamous Unicorn Blood aged in Basil Hayden’s Bourbon Whiskey barrels and is limited to 2000 world wide.
Clovis Blood is the product of revenge. After traveling back in time to the age of the Clovis people, the cyborg-mastodons would bottle their vengeance with the very same tusks their ancestors were annihilated for. These bottles, until now, were exclusively used to re-fuel their hatred for the Clovis people.
This isn’t the first time Mastodon applied their love of food to a limited product. They’ve also endorsed two kinds of beer: a double black IPA called Black Tongue, and a German style Kellerbier called Mahrs-Bräu. As for other artists who’ve joined the growing coffee market in recent years, they include everyone from the New Pornographers to former LCD Soundsystem frontman James Murphy. And if you’re wondering how Black Blood tastes, drummer Brann Dailor hasn’t had a chance to taste it yet, but the band’s lighting director, Mike Howe, insists “it tastes awesome!”.
“We all like really great coffee,” explains Dailor, “but he’s the coffee guy. He’s from Chicago, so he drinks his coffee — his really good coffee — black. So I went on his recommendation; I trust his palette.”
Which is a good thing because Dailor takes his coffee with lots of cream and sugar, something he felt ashamed of until Harvey Keitel made it cool in Pulp Fiction. “All the dudes out there who still wanted to be manly cheered when he said that,” says Dailor. “It was finally okay; you can still be a bad-ass and like coffee with lots of cream and lots of sugar.”