Yesterday, in an interview with the Daily Beast, David Lynch chatted about transcendental meditation, his guest role on Louie, and his love of True Detective. But when the reporter got around to mentioning that Lynch was a big Kanye West fan, the acclaimed director dropped this interesting little tidbit:
Yeah. “Blood on the Leaves” is one of my favorite songs. It’s great. He’s just ridin’ the wave and not takin’ no for an answer. We almost worked together, but I never got the ideas. I feel I let him down a little bit. I was going to do the music video for “Blood on the Leaves,” but it never happened. I didn’t come up with any ideas that I thought he would like. Kanye came up to the house one day. Kanye’s a good guy, and a great musician. I loved the song, and that’s what brought us together, but I couldn’t come up with ideas that thrilled either one of us.
That’s right — David Lynch had the opportunity to direct a music video for “Blood on the Leaves” and he let it go. While even the best of us are prone to a bad case of writer’s block, it’s pretty disappointing to learn that it got the best of Lynch in this instance.
Upon reading the interview, the staff here at Wondering Sound couldn’t help but imagine the result of a Lynch-West collaboration.
So here’s a few of our concepts below.
Contributor Andrew Parks:
Kanye would wear one of his custom-made Maison Martin Margiela masks for the Yeezus tour the entire time, while Laura Dern, instead of wearing a mask, plays one of David Lynch’s surrealistic rabbits. A spoken word overture before the music kicks in, with stilted dialogue by said rabbit, sets the mood.
Features Editor Claire Lobenfeld:
All I know is that there would have to be a Roy Orbison interlude. At some point during the shoot, Lynch calls Steve McQueen for help.
Senior Editor Jayson Greene:
Harry Dean Stanton lip synchs entire song sitting naked in an armchair, wearing smeared lipstick and forlornly stroking a white ferret. Video extends for nine minutes after song concludes, with Stanton sitting in silence staring into camera. Finally, eleven seconds of screaming woman vomiting blood before cut to black.
My own, of course:
A sandworm with the likeness of Nina Simone chases Kanye down and tries to swallow him whole for using her voice in a track that contains the lyric, “She Instagram herself like #BadBitchAlert.” But Kanye rides the worm and makes it rain. Ultimately Lynch pretends he’s not the director.
And finally Editor-in-Chief J. Edward Keyes, who took it to the next level:
Open On: Red Drapes. There is an old, 50′s-style microphone in the center of the frame, and a spotlight beaming in from the upper right. An elderly man in a powder blue suit with an oversized white carnation enters stage left and begins to shuffle toward the microphone. It takes him seven and a half minutes to get there. When he does, he tugs on the lapels of his coat, opens his mouth and begins to sing the Nina Simone hook. The shadow of a bird passes across the drapes. When the horn fanfare kicks in, the screen is engulfed in flames.
CUT TO: A classic convertible with its top down speeding down a highway, driven by Justin Theroux. He banks a hard left and pulls into the parking lot of a ramshackle bar with a blinking neon sign in front reading “The Hotsy Totsy Club.” He enters the bar. It is packed, and bathed in searing red light. On stage, Kanye is rapping. The part of Kanye is played by Bill Withers. Justin Theroux sits at one of the few empty tables. A woman on horseback dressed like a candy striper enters the bar. She approaches Theroux’s table and hands him a note. He opens it. It reads: “The man with the eye is looking for you.” He looks at the woman, who winks at him. He looks at Bill Withers, who winks at him. The woman motions toward a door behind him with a mirror nailed to it. Justin Theroux walks to the door and opens it.
CUT TO: Interior, hallway. Justin Theroux is walking slowly toward camera. He is wearing the same suit the old man was wearing at the beginning of the video. The hall is filled with couples violently groping one another and making out. Theroux presses forward. He reaches the end of the hall to find Michael J. Anderson standing with his fists out. Justin Theroux taps Michael’s left fist. He opens it. It is empty. Justin Theroux taps Michael’s right fist. He opens it to reveal a human eyeball, veins and tendons still attached, traces of blood around the outside. Michael J. Anderson laughs as if he has just told a hilarious joke. There is a door behind it. He opens it. Justin Theroux walks through.
CUT TO: Red Drapes. There is an old, 50′s-style microphone in the center of the frame, and a spotlight beaming in from the upper right. An elderly man in a powder blue suit with an oversized white carnation enters stage left and begins to shuffle toward the microphone. Fade out.
So, David: there’s still time. Take another meeting with Kanye. Stop messing around.
And kudos on creating the best video for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.